It seems I'm in the habit of only posting once a month or so. That's ok I'm not sure many people read this anyways. I am inexplicably involved in an impossible romance. I know I'll probably never get the chance to be with her, and even if I do that it won't work out. I don't want to be selfish but at the same time I want to look her in the eyes and tell her that even if we don't work out it will be a memorable experience we can both treasure. I think when people date they never really expect to find their true love. In highschool, college, and even a bit beyond that people date for the experiences and the memories that will help them grow and mature until they do find the one they love. When I talk to her or spend time with her I enjoy every joke and sad moment. I love the fact that she calls me when she needs to calm down and center herself, and knowing that I can come to her in the same way. Yet our differences are many and our chances are slim. Is it worth dragging both of us through possible heart break to experience what could only be considered the briefest possible moment of joy? I wish we could work out and last forever but the realist in me keeps telling me it's impossible, and the realist in her confirms that ugly side of me. Neither one of us and push ourselves to commit, nor can we force ourselves to let go of this glimpse of true joy amidst a lifetime of confusion and chaos. I hope I can have the strength and character to prevail and to hold on to this joy because it may be my last.